Chapter 41: A Small Lamp
The method of provocation, or you could call it ‘luring by letting go,’ is all about doing it in one smooth stroke!
[*”欲擒故纵(Yù qín gù zòng)”: means to capture by first letting go, a strategy used to make your opponent drop their guard.]
After spouting all this nonsense, Ye Zhibai flipped her hair with flair and was really about to take her long legs and walk back down the alley.
Acting just like a Senguchi is completely unreasonable!
After all that, how could Lin Zihan let her walk away just like that?
Even though she vaguely suspected this was Ye Zhibai’s trick, how could you not take the bait?
Just as Ye Zhibai was about to brush past her, Lin Zihan turned around.
She suddenly grabbed her arm!
“Ye Zhibai, wait! I… I need to tell you! Everything! Between good friends, there should be no secrets, we should say everything!”
“Alright, go ahead.” Ye Zhibai did stop immediately, turning back with a cold demeanor, ready to play the listener.
What else could she do?
“You’re about to talk, so of course, I’m going to listen!”
Guang Yu was ready to bestow upon Ye Zhibai the title of ‘Human Scum,’ in the name of the gods. She was far too fitting.
As for Lin Zihan, She suddenly found herself face-to-face with Ye Zhibai, about to pour out her heart. She swallowed nervously, and for once, a small hint of tension could be seen on her face.
“Ye Zhibai… do you want to hear it? It might be boring, and you’ll feel uncomfortable afterward.”
“It’s fine, go ahead.”
There’s no wine or song here, but there are stories and regrets.
Listening won’t hurt.
Ah… Lin Zihan knew that running away was not an option today.
Ye Zhibai is so persistent, acting almost angelically at this point. What reason does Lin Zihan have to avoid talking now?
She rubbed her legs, gripping her right arm with her left hand, lowering her head slightly.
Her golden bangs covered half the crimson hue in her right eye.
Hesitating, Lin Zihan finally started speaking.
“About this… how should I put it, Ye Zhibai, let me first answer your question… What I told you earlier, that my mom doesn’t like kids who come into the store to browse without buying flowers, that was a lie.”
She paused for a moment, then continued.
“Just like that little girl earlier, every time kids come into the flower shop to play, my mom is always happy. Sometimes she even gives flowers to the kids, without caring about the cost. She loves children. Well, Ye Zhibai, even though you’re not that young anymore, I think… you’re a year older than me, right? But still, you’re very cute!”
“You aren’t afraid of the cold, are you?”
Ye Zhibai thought, I look in the mirror and feel like I’m freezing, and yet all of you keep saying I’m cute?!
Alright, I believe you, go on.
“Mm.” Ye Zhibai lightly nodded, signaling Lin Zihan to continue.
After Lin Zihan clarified this point, as she continued to speak, the repression in her gaze became even more intense and evident.
Perhaps it was the dimness of the alley that helped conceal much of Lin Zihan’s sorrow.
“The real reason is this. My mom loves kids, but she doesn’t like children from powerful families.”
With that, Lin Zihan delivered the final blow, summing up Elsa’s mindset.
“My mom… she’s afraid of causing trouble.”
Children from powerful families?
Who?
Ye Zhibai tilted her head slightly.
And then she suddenly remembered, wasn’t she a child from a powerful family now?
Oh no, I’ve become rich, but I’m still despised.
Lin Zihan had already said this much.
Ye Zhibai naturally had to keep probing her thoughts.
She asked, “Afraid of causing trouble…?”
Lin Zihan explained, “Yes when the Lin family collapsed back then, we still had a chance to recover. But… at that time, some of the powerful families in Qihai City suddenly stepped in, canceled their orders, and blocked our remaining business. That’s when the Lin family completely fell.”
“During that time, my parents went everywhere looking for connections, hoping that those families would show some mercy. But… on the surface, they refused to meet, and behind the scenes, they dealt deadly blows. My dad couldn’t bear the pressure… he gave up the industries needed for our recovery, sold off all our assets, and paid off our debts. I thought that would be the end of it.”
“But soon after, my dad said he wanted to divorce my mom. He said he couldn’t face staying in Qihai City anymore. My mom wanted to go with him, but my dad was already irrational… He said that the fall of the Lin family was all because of us, mother and daughter. Haha… it sounds ridiculous, but back then, there were rumors in our family. Some of our superstitious relatives even analyzed it, concluding that ever since I was born, the Lin family had slowly started to decline.”
“I guess, whether my dad believed it or not… he just didn’t dare to face life anymore.”
When Lin Zihan mentioned her dad, there was neither affection nor hatred in her tone.
She didn’t hate anyone.
What good would hatred do?
On the downside, he abandoned his wife and daughter.
But on the bright side, at least he paid off the debts, left with nothing, and used his last bit of money to buy the apartment and the flower shop that Lin Zihan and Elsa live in now.
Lin Zihan added, “There’s no hatred, and no real regrets either.”
“It’s just that sometimes, I feel… quite melancholic, quite at a loss for words.”
“I still remember her mom’s bewildered expression when everyone turned their backs on her —that powerless, yet despairing figure.”
“For a woman, all of this was simply too much to bear.”
Lin Zihan gritted her teeth, then immediately relaxed.
Lin Zihan’s trembling voice only lasted for a moment, before it returned to a calm, narrative tone. Her adjustment was incredibly quick.
“Thinking back now, it makes sense. At that time, the Lin family’s industries were too vast, controlling too much of Qihai City’s business resources. Only when we collapsed could the ‘cake’ be shared with other companies. Not to mention, there were already people jealous of the Lin family’s wealth. My dad had made too many enemies, and my mom always said that in his younger days, he was too arrogant, too proud, and didn’t know how to disguise or restrain himself.”
[*”蛋糕” (dàngāo)”: “cake” is often used metaphorically to represent a share of something desirable, such as profits or resources.]
“Ahaha… Of course, there’s another reason! If I have to say, I’m the same! When I was little, I was awful! I shouldn’t have bullied other kids all the time. Back then, their parents were always angry but didn’t dare to say anything, but I’m sure they kept it in their hearts! Just waiting for the tables to turn. Now, look at me, everyone can freely chat over tea, laughing and joking, saying the Lin family’s girl, a half-blind idiot, got what she deserved!”
[*”三十年河东, 三十年河西” (sānshí nián hédōng, sānshí nián héxī)”: It means “thirty years east of the river, thirty years west,” implying the unpredictability of life and that fortunes can reverse over time.]
“You…”
“Ah… Sorry, Ye Zhibai, I guess I’ve said too much… I… I spoke with too much emotion, I’m sorry.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Ye Zhibai wanted to say: You can… still laugh about this?
Ye Zhibai looked at Lin Zihan, at that elegant face, with such a fragile smile.
For a moment, she felt a shiver down her spine.
Even though Lin Zihan was talking about such a despairing situation, she could still manage to smile and joke about it.
If we’re talking about childhood, who hasn’t said some foolish things?
When I was a kid, I even pulled up the neighbor’s carrots at the orphanage as a prank!
Does that mean that whatever misfortune I face now is all deserved because of that?
That’s not how things work.
Ye Zhibai reflected on Lin Zihan’s words for a moment, then summed it up for her.
“I get it now… what you’re saying is that Auntie, in every sense, can no longer trust people from powerful families. Even if I go to the flower shop, she’ll think I’m there to cause trouble or be insincere.”
Lin Zihan responded, “That’s right.”
“Ah…! But Ye Zhibai! I must make this clear! Among the powerful families that struck down the Lin family, the Ye family was not involved! I remember this very clearly, so please, don’t overthink it! Even if other families aren’t trustworthy, you’re special, Ye Zhibai, you’re completely different! And Ziyun is very kind too, I’m truly grateful to both of you!”
[*Note: The emphasis on “completely different” shows how much Lin Zihan trusts and values Ye Zhibai.]
“……”
You had to explain this again!
I remember, just a few days ago, Ziyun was also hastily explaining this very point.
Ye Zhibai was relieved that her living environment was indeed fortunate.
Fortunate, in more than just wealth.
She exhaled softly, her breath filled with many thoughts.
Ye Zhibai looked at the flustered Lin Zihan in front of her, whose eyes were already slightly red, but who still wanted to comfort her a bit more, and couldn’t help but feel helpless.
You…
You’ve got it wrong—who’s the one who needs comforting here?
Lin Zihan’s floodgates had opened.
There was no one around, and Lin Zihan began venting her recent frustrations to Ye Zhibai.
“Ah, Ye Zhibai, you have no idea! My mom is so sensitive about these things! Don’t laugh at me, but sometimes, while we’re eating dinner, she’ll just throw the bowls and chopsticks at me! *Sobs*, I always end up cleaning everything until late.”
“My mom works hard every day. It’s exhausting for her to watch over the flower shop all day! But sometimes, it’s like she’s dissatisfied with life or something, and when she comes home from the shop, she goes crazy doing housework. Even though she’s tired, when I try to persuade her to rest, she just won’t listen. In those moments, I feel like I’m about to die from the frustration! But honestly, it’s fine~ If worse comes to worst, I just help her with the housework anyway. After all, I do most of it already.”
“Sigh, I really can’t with my mom. You know the college entrance exams just finished, right? She asks me if I’m confident about my results every single day! No, not eight times… ten times! I swear, if my results don’t meet her expectations, she’s going to start smashing bowls again!”
“And that’s not even all…!”
As Lin Zihan continued her relentless “complaints,” Ye Zhibai closed her eyes slightly.
She pondered over everything that had happened since they met that day—buying drinks, hiding on the second floor of the flower shop, narrowly escaping danger, and ending up here.
All these experiences only solidified one fact in Ye Zhibai’s mind.
She slowly opened her light purple eyes, brimming with spiritual energy. Though cold, they seemed to carry a warmth that embraced all living things.
Ye Zhibai said, “Lin Zihan, deep down… you love your mom, don’t you?”
Her words landed with a resounding certainty.
Lin Zihan was taken aback when she heard this.
She instinctively waved her hand in a bitter smile, trying to deny it.
“Ye Zhibai, are you kidding me? Were you even listening to what I just said? My mom is always like this! She’s… I…!”
“You?”
“I…” Lin Zihan’s brow furrowed tighter and tighter. The witty complaints she had just thrown at Elsa vanished abruptly.
This only confirmed Ye Zhibai’s guess.
Perhaps, there wasn’t even a need to guess.
A mother who had driven herself mad for the sake of her daughter, no matter how unreasonable or chaotic she seemed. As a daughter… how could I truly hate a mother who poured her heart and soul into her?
Lin Zihan clenched her fists tightly.
She looked up, trying to force a smile at Ye Zhibai.
But just as the smile began to form, it crumbled, turning into a trembling grimace of sorrow.
She suddenly lowered her head.
She couldn’t believe that she couldn’t smile.
She couldn’t brush off this topic with laughter like she usually did.
Ye Zhibai raised her head slightly. Night had already fallen.
The dusk had passed, and they were now surrounded by complete darkness.
But could Lin Zihan’s heart find a glimmer of light in this dark place?
Ye Zhibai took out her phone and turned on the flashlight.
This illuminated a small patch of space around them.
Finally, Lin Zihan’s trembling, which had started from her brow, spread to her shoulders and soon engulfed her entire body.
She suddenly covered her face with both hands.
Between her fingers, from her right eye, a string of crystal-clear tears slipped through.
She didn’t want to move her hands away.
But when she spoke to Ye Zhibai again, the sobs in her voice betrayed the tears welling up in her eyes.
“Ye Zhibai… Ye Zhibai? How… how did you figure it out? I swear I hate her… She criticizes me every day, smashing the beef stew I worked so hard on, and… and I didn’t even make it for myself… Wasn’t it because I wanted her to have something good to eat? But she smashed it so hard… I’ve always tried to avoid her, but Ye Zhibai, how did you know… that I don’t… I don’t hate her?”
Ye Zhibai replied, “Because you’re so calm. If you hated her, we wouldn’t be standing here talking like this.”
“…!”
They had left the flower shop because Lin Zihan had called out “Mom” without any warning.
At the time, Ye Zhibai found it odd that she had suddenly called out to her mom like that.
But now, she understood at least a little.
Lin Zihan had been disguising herself well, but when she was immersed in her precious memories, she couldn’t help but show some “clues.”
Such as the way she called out “Mom” with a hint of affection.
Ye Zhibai thought, Perhaps she even convinced herself that she truly hated her mom.
How many years had it been since she last truly felt her mother’s presence?
Perhaps it had been a very long time.
Or maybe, that presence had never left her and had always been with her.
Lin Zihan’s body trembled violently.
Her hands, which had been covering her eyes, now slid down to cover her mouth, as if trying to stifle the pathetic sobs that were threatening to escape.
But human emotions couldn’t be contained by a pair of hands.
A hot tear rolled down her right eye.
Several suppressed sobs, quiet but filled with helplessness, echoed softly in the narrow space.
“Sniff…! Sniff…”
Cry, it’s okay.
Ye Zhibai had once thought Lin Zihan was strong, while she, hiding in her blanket crying, had been weak.
But now, she realized it was just the opposite.
Crying didn’t mean weakness; it meant seeking dependence. It was the only way to save oneself when feeling helpless and lost.
Otherwise… you’d suffocate yourself.
Ye Zhibai stood still, patiently waiting for her, hoping to give her the courage to cry.
——Fortunately, she had prepared herself.
Because Lin Zihan suddenly lunged forward!
She plunged straight into Ye Zhibai’s arms!
If Ye Zhibai hadn’t braced herself beforehand, the impact would’ve knocked her over!
Ye Zhibai staggered backward several steps before managing to steady Lin Zihan’s body.
Just as they steadied themselves, Lin Zihan’s sobbing erupted violently in Ye Zhibai’s arms.
“Wah!! Ye Zhibai! I don’t hate my mom! I don’t hate my mom! I… I keep smiling at home, and I smile when I’m outside too! I’ve never said a single bad word about her, and she’s always crying… always crying, but am I allowed to cry too? If I cry too, then nothing will hold together anymore! These years… these years I’ve never said a single thing wrong about my mom, right? I… sniff…”
Ye Zhibai spoke, “Yes, you’re right.”
“Just like how your mom has never truly resented you. You’ve never really hated her either.”
This twisted relationship between mother and daughter, even though it’s distorted, they’ve never given up on each other.
They are each other’s lifelines, illuminating each other’s existence in their own way.
Ye Zhibai hesitated slightly for a moment.
Then, she opened her arms and held Lin Zihan tightly, offering her some comfort.
Perhaps, I’m just a fleeting light in your journey of life.
But if I can help you shed light on your true feelings.
Then this light of mine… would be priceless and meaningful, wouldn’t it?
